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That doesn't make any less of you. Not being able to talk to someone in certain circunstances is not something that makes you a fool. That's just social anxiety. Just work it out, and the best way to do that is actually try, without the fear of recieve a "no" as a reply. Because the "no" you already have by not asking at all.

 

So, in the end, worse can happen is you stay in almost same position as you are now. Difference is that the "wall of doubt" won't be in your way anymore.

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SO Ive yet again met my crush and as usual lacked the balls to ask her out... story of my whole life right there :(

 

...Because the "no" you already have by not asking at all.

 

So, in the end, worse can happen is you stay in almost same position as you are now. Difference is that the "wall of doubt" won't be in your way anymore.

 

This 100%. Just got to get over the shy-ness wall, which I know is difficult from experience. Just put yourself out there! :)

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As usual in my retardness frogot to reply lol

 

That doesn't make any less of you. Not being able to talk to someone in certain circunstances is not something that makes you a fool. That's just social anxiety. Just work it out, and the best way to do that is actually try, without the fear of recieve a "no" as a reply. Because the "no" you already have by not asking at all.

 

So, in the end, worse can happen is you stay in almost same position as you are now. Difference is that the "wall of doubt" won't be in your way anymore.

 

But I don't wan't to be in the same position anymore :(

 

This 100%. Just got to get over the shy-ness wall, which I know is difficult from experience. Just put yourself out there! :)

 

In my case the wall is the size of a great China wall, really not easy getting over it, and shes out of my league anyway I dont know what im hoping for...

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But I don't wan't to be in the same position anymore :(

Actually, yes, you do. Otherwise you'd do something. But your fear of failing is bigger than the discomfort of getting out of your comfort zone.

 

First things first Robik. Know what you really want. Do you want keep lying to yourself, saying that you can't do something, when you clearly can, as, may sound rude to some, but people who's clearly dumber than you can, or do you really want to leave your current position?

 

Just be honest with yourself in first place. And if she denies it, understand that it is not "because of you". It happens, and some people might or not be interested in someone else, what you can't do is suffer, beat yourself up without even trying.

 

"Ah Milli, it's easy to say, but i won't be able to speak"

 

Do whatever man, just do something, even if you sttuter, just go and do it. That's how it works. The more you do, the easier it gets.

 

And don't ever, say that someone is "out of your league". Don't ever repeat that and don't ever think that. Nobody, listen, NOBODY is better than anyone. Don't put anyone in a pedestal.

 

And Merc, just don't. You're just being a creep, asking for photos. You don't need photos to evaluate, you just want to satisfy your own curiosity.

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Actually, yes, you do. Otherwise you'd do something. But your fear of failing is bigger than the discomfort of getting out of your comfort zone.

 

First things first Robik. Know what you really want. Do you want keep lying to yourself, saying that you can't do something, when you clearly can, as, may sound rude to some, but people who's clearly dumber than you can, or do you really want to leave your current position?

 

Just be honest with yourself in first place. And if she denies it, understand that it is not "because of you". It happens, and some people might or not be interested in someone else, what you can't do is suffer, beat yourself up without even trying.

 

"Ah Milli, it's easy to say, but i won't be able to speak"

 

Do whatever man, just do something, even if you sttuter, just go and do it. That's how it works. The more you do, the easier it gets.

 

I wan't to do something, but at the same time I don't wan't to make a complete idiot out of Myself.

 

Stutter? I get minor heart attack when She's near Me and I basically forget that I have actually have tongue in My mouth.

 

Yes its that bad :fp:

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I wan't to do something, but at the same time I don't wan't to make a complete idiot out of Myself.

 

Stutter? I get minor heart attack when She's near Me and I basically forget that I have actually have tongue in My mouth.

 

Yes its that bad :fp:

 

Why do you think you'll make a complete idiot of yourself? Plus, again, think about what you want more. Is it do something, or keep yourself safe in the "comfort" (Not so comfort, because you suffer with it) zone?

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all he needs to knows = girls are better and better with times, it's called "évolution" and it's like videogames (exapmles = girls are really more précious in 2015 than 1995, and TDU is really more interesting in 2017 than 2007 etc etc etc)

 

more beautifull, more clever, more rich, more independant, maybe more respectables and interesting sometimes probably

 

loving somebody or something who's not lovable is an error, and it contain himself too

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I wan't to do something, but at the same time I don't wan't to make a complete idiot out of Myself.

 

Stutter? I get minor heart attack when She's near Me and I basically forget that I have actually have tongue in My mouth.

 

Yes its that bad :fp:

 

Imagine yourself at say age 25. Regardless of what you do or do not do, and what the outcome is, you will look back at your younger self, laugh, and go 'what an idiot I was'. :)

What you want and what the other person is can change up to about that age anyway.

 

Why do you think you'll make a complete idiot of yourself? Plus, again, think about what you want more. Is it do something, or keep yourself safe in the "comfort" (Not so comfort, because you suffer with it) zone?

I was thinking more of that Indian guy on big bang theory. I think I've quoted the wrong post but I'm mobile so please kindly deal with it. :)

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Big text alert. Under the hidden button.

 

 

 

Look, i get it, most people, suffer from social anxiety, including me, but each in different levels of intensity. Thing is though, social anxiety always have a reason. And every reason can be thought about, worked on so it can be "fixed", or make it way less active. I'd recommend you to try look at the situation with logic. Let's see:

 

There is this girl. That you think she's out of your league, that you can't even speak when around her, that you think you'd look like an idiot. Have you ever thought why?

 

I mean, why is she out of your league? What does makes she so much better than you? Why do you think you will look like an idiot? Why can't you speak around her? Because she looks good? Then i question, since when looks has anything to do with someone being better than someone else? How someone looks like actually means nothing. It really doesn't.

 

Ok, i know our brains have a tendency to think that everything that looks good is actually good, but that is not how it works with people. So, how does that makes she out of your league?

 

Second, being yourself will never be make an idiot of yourself. Being honest with your emotions and feelings, fears, that is not make an idiot of yourself. That's a pressure that you put on yourself, because you think you MUST be that guy, who gets the girl he wants. That guys who is fit and good looking... Heck, you don't even need to be a guy that gets a lot of girls. Those things do not make you any more of a man than anyone else. The fastest you stop to ask yourself to be like that, and focus on being yourself, the better.

 

Let's make things clear, hypotetical situation:

 

You come up to her, and literally freeze in front of her, can't say anything, moans some sounds, like... aaauuuummmmmmmm, and then leave. Does that makes you an idiot? It doesn't. And who ever says it does, well, now we know who the idiots really are. It's ok to have fears... and it's ok to fail. Hell man, i walk since i know myself, and yet, i trip and fall while walking, i still haven't learned how to walk properlly without fail, why are you so hard on yourself when it comes to this?

 

Talk to people is also a "skill", and as every skill, you can improve and learn, and again, as every skill, we do learn by doing and doing it wrong. Allow yourself to try. Allow yourself to learn, whatever is the outcome.

 

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Maybe You're right maybe I'm just ovethinking the whole thing...

 

Anyway I really appreciate the support here, it feels good being able to talk to somebody about it so, thanks Milli and anybody else who tried to help :hi5:

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Thanks guys :( She was 85 years old but still thinking clearly until this happened. I think she would've had a few more years had she not contracted some kind of infection, I don't know if the doctors are even sure what happened yet. It happened so fast, she only went in on Thursday.

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