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I need to change...


Fear Deer
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Hey, thought this would be the best place to write this up as i dont know any of you personally...

I am the example of a slobby student...I dont study at home, i dont pay attention in class, and i am rude to teachers who were once rude to me...

Whats gone into me?...

Yesterday i found a dossier filled with documents of papers of my first 3 or 4 years of school, which were in a Brittish private school here in portugal...

My first report ever, 1st year, 1st term, said that i learnt english really fast, just after 3 months i could have a fluent and tidy conversation, at the age of 5.

It also said that i was a great learner in maths, i would try hard and do my best, never quitting until i understood the concepts and had everything done...

In portuguese the teacher said i would write everything with no mistakes, 3 months after i learnt to write, very interested and attentious in class, excellent performance, and when i finished the proposed tasks, i would start writing things to develop my writing, and she also wrote that the things i wrote were very distinct from the things other people in class wrote, i was very mature she said..

And at the end of the 1st year, i had a Highly Developed and Develops well mark in most subjects and components, like maths, english, IT, portuguese, music, etc, every teacher wrote i was an excellent student, learnt perfectly, blablabla.

The report conclusion said things as it it a pleasure for that school to have a student like me, that i worked really hard and that the lower school director saw nothing but great things in the future for me...But then that lower school director left the school..she really liked me and i liked her a lot. She motivated me A LOT.

Since the 2nd year my downhill began..no attention in class..always standing up, nevertheless, finishing all tasks with distinction, never getting mistakes, very fluent english, great at maths..but each year more distracted...less focus...less work... From the 5th year onward ( now on a public school ) began my real downfall, until today, who i am, sloppy and uninterested student....

And reading just how i was...and what i became in..God why have i changed this much?..

I Will do my utter best to study, work hard, and get intersted, change my personality, in this year and few months, of whats left of school, to raise my chances of getting to university, in the course i want... I just want to know..why did i have to become this way...

Anyways sorry for the "Too long didn't read", and for boring you, i just needed to write this and show someone, but someone i dont know...

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thanks for sharing that bro :P

all in seriousness I actually relate to you.

Same thing happened to me when I was in primary school.

When my favourite maths teacher was replaced with a bitch from hell all my courses went downhill.

It's not really an excuse but these things happen, I couldn't recover until mid-high school.

I realized it just like you and started taking up some responsibility instead of blaming others.

I think it's a good job you did it too.

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At least you've realised this now while you're still at school and can do something about it instead of when you're in your mid twenties with a crap job :)

 

This is very almost me :(

 

First year or so at secondary school I did pretty well. We had an exam as soon as we got there and that apparently determined how brainy we were and sorted us into 'sets'. I was in the second highest set so I was seen as one of the most capable students, but I think I let that fool me a few years down the line and I started slipping up, started playing too many games and didn't revise enough or try hard enough. By the last year I'd pretty much lost it and my English Coursework was laughably bad, and despite I.T. being my favourite subject I wasn't doing as well as I could in that either. Exams came in the final year and we had a part of the year come along called 'Study-Leave' where you don't go into school and you're left to revise for your exams at home. I didn't do that, because I thought the exams would be a breeze, so I sat at home on the computer playing Counter Strike and GTA. Exam results day came and I walked out of that school with probably one of the gloomiest looking faces to be seen on that day.

 

Still got into college with my grades. I still hadn't learnt my lesson and carried on through college with a "That's a pass, that'll do" attitude, just trying to have a laugh. Towards the end of the second year I gained a bit of motivation and started aiming for merits and distinctions in some of the units as I had a month or so left before I left college. So I got a few merits and a distinction. It still wasn't enough considering the potential I had. I never wanted to go to university, but when you go to see a potential employer and show them your grades and they see that you could've done better, it doesn't leave a good impression. Every time I look back to what I did in college I wish I'd tried harder and aimed higher, instead of peeing the days away sitting at a desk listening to music on YouTube or playing 2D Team Fortress and CS 1.6.

 

Don't follow my path, do your absolute best to come out with the grades that you want and make your future easier. Don't be like me and look back to years gone by with regret. I think the laziness is all part of being a teenager for a lot of people, they are the years when you're relatively care-free and you just want to have a laugh with your mates or you think that things like school aren't as important as having a good time. It's good that you've realised now, rather than later.

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After school and before working full time is the best time to be breezy. And if you can avoid working 5 days per week, try to get 3 or 4 (having the extra time off is much better than any extra money in the long run). Less stressed, more relaxed, more happy.

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At a glance, it sounds like you need an interest. Not a hobby, not a new game to play, but a genuine interest, something you're devoted to and want to do the rest of your life. Have you considered what you want to do out of university (or the equivalent "higher education" where you are)? It's never too early to start planning that, and I find that once you have something in your head, it becomes much easier to focus on what you need to in school - not because the teachers want you to focus on it, but because you want to focus on it.

 

So throw some stuff out there, try new things, stuff you haven't thought about before. I'm not sure how your school works, but if you can choose to take classes with teachers that really care, take them, even if the class topics seem uninteresting to you. In my school, for example, one of the best teachers in the school leads a technical philosophy and space course. It's an elective class (not required) and seems like it would be unnecessarily difficult, but it's actually very fun, and kids who had terrible grades took it, found their passion in space, and turned their grades around. One recent graduate just Skyped with the current class from Switzerland, where he's working as a scientist at CERN. And according to our teacher, he wasn't a great student until he realized what he wanted to do and happily did whatever it took to do it.

 

My point is, find something you like and "work" won't seem like work. :)

 

-Leadfoot

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I know how you feel. I did something similar during middle school, and half of freshman year of high school because of bad teachers, distractions and simple laziness. But my parents kicked my butt back into gear and now I'm a solid 3.0 GPA student and on track to get into a good college so it is possible to turn your habits around. Just keep at it bro, its all worth it in the end.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I argee with randomsox and leadfoot. From grade 10-12 I was completely uninterested with school. Never studied or did homework, mouthed off to teachers, and skipped school. Until the school conselor and my parents sat me down and said "You hate this place so why not actually try and get out faster because the way you are now you have absolutely no way of graduating this year unless you step it up".

 

That was the kick in the ass I needed. I still didnt really study but I knew I had the smarts, and memory I could do it and ended up getting almost 80's on my graduate tests. They suggested taking my massive interest in cars, and mechanics, and said put it to good use and that I could graduate if I worked.

 

So thats what I did every morning I would get up at 6am and go to work, punch in, and stay there working cars till 9, then go to school then straight to work till 5:30, and most of the time clock in over time. I did that for 5 months untill I had enough credits to graduate. Here I am today I have my highschool dipolma and half way through my frist year of automotive technican.

 

I have a steady full time job, and other than being single am the happiest I could ever be. If you have an interest pursue it absolutly. You never know where you'll end up, and school may be boring but getting through it to get to do what you truly love doing is completly worth it in the end trust me.

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