Christmas for me this year is going pretty averagely at best, but this amused me!
As did this:
He came roaring down the milky way, cutting crazy skids
Twas time to get the pressies out, to all those eager kids
This year the reindeer stayed at home, with the chickens there to roost
For santa modified the sled, with an RB on full boost
With a 6 speed box and 2 way diff, and a roll cage welded in
And a four inch straight through zorst, with a canon from the bin
There was a bucket seat, a momo wheel, and a raucous screamer pipe
Santa dropped it back a cog, and roared on through the night
Twas lightning quick in no time flat, old Santa's round were done
So with time to spare he headed down, the goldy for some fun
He chopped a bogan at the lights, then mashed an RX7
No doubt across the 1/4 mile, this thing could run elevens
He was cruising slowly round the spit, and ran in to the law
With no mod plates and a screamer pipe, he was in deep lalalala for sure
Name address and license please, came the rude request from plod
Well up yours copper my name's my own, and my license comes from God
At that old Santa dropped the clutch, and drifted round the rails
In the blink of an eye he was m1 bound, heading straight for New South Wales
2 motor bikes and an umarked car, were hotly in pursuit
Santa turned the e boost up, and gave the beast full boost
With the tweed in sight it looked as if, he'd got away from plod
But a woosh and a bang and a cloud of smoke, the RB dropped a rod
The law caught up and with pistols drawn, they threw him to the ground
The sled was loaded on a flat bed truck, and was headed for impound
A sorry sight did Santa make, as he sat there in the cell
Oh why oh why did he ever try, this Christmas sleigh from hell
They crushed the sleigh and locked him away, there'll be no Christmas soon
There'll be no pressies for the kids, cos Santa is a hoon.