Soup

You can't eat soup. Why? 'Cos it's soup, you drink it. But it's food, right? So why can't you eat it? Well you can, but only bits of it. It's mostly soup. With bits. Sometimes. Unless it's cream of chicken or something, and how do you cream a chicken? Poor chicken.

 

But there's something missing from the soup world. Virtual soup. Atari, take note - Test Soup Unlimited, coming “soon”. Imagine the range of flavours you would be able to virtually eat/drink and pretend to taste. Of course the problem is that if Atari makes TSU, you'll probably only be able to move your spoon forwards or backwards. Every time you try and corner with your spoon you'll probably lose the rear-end and drop the spoon in your soup. And you don't want that, it's like dropping a biscuit in your cup of tea! I hate that. Every time I call 999 to save my biscuit they shout at me.

 

Problem 2: you'll have a massive bowl of soup, maybe even 2 soups, a beginner soup and another bigger bowl of soup later in the game, but you'll only have a few spoons to try. Probably about 10 red spoons with flashy handles and only a few other kinds. But hey, don't worry, you can search your bowl of soup for rusty old spoons and have them restored!

 

So, soup. Why is there no such thing as cheese soup? Surely that's the best of both worlds (for normal people like me)? Can't be that hard! Well, actually, the cheese would be pretty hard. But you get my point.

 

Now, more importantly – ponies. I hate ponies. They ruin forums, I think we should make pony soup to sort that problem out. I'm happy to tell you I've tested that theory, and my review is mostly positive. Appearance? Well, it looks like a barbie melted in the sun. Taste? There is a mild hint of plastic, and an elegant hint of burnt.

 

Good news though! Test Soup Unlimited must be coming soon, here's Atari's very

!

 

Bye.