As I don't really care who mods or who nots, I'll just say I somewhat disagree with most of what you are saying.
1. Yes, a thank you is nice. It may make you feel slightly more validated and important. And as we all know there is nothing more important than feeling important on an internet community.
IceKid isn't getting thanked because he's not the one packaging it. It's not the name most people to remember to thank. Same with a lot of bands - the lead singer (Michael Jackson, Bono, Jon Bon Jovi) generally gets credited with most of the work and while they do do a lot of work, it's the songwriters, producers and intrumentalists that put in just as much effort and are never the ones to get the credit.
If you aren't going to release the project for a price, you have to release it for free. And there are 2 ways t do that:
a)Build it for the community and release it to the community. In this scenario you are building for the community as a customer. Someone you want to use, like and appreciate your mod. So if there is something they don't like about it, it's there job to tell you that it sucks major ass, that the steering wheel is triangular and that the polygons are actually not polygons at all, but circles. It's there right as a customer - you built the product for them and they expect it to work flawlessly and with no bugs.
b)Build it for yourself and release it anyway. What I did for TDUPE. Build it for yourself, get what you want out of it and just have fun doing it. Then who gives a crap what people think. You had fun, it serves your purpose, so be it. If people love it, cool. If people absolutely slam it, just shrug it off and move on.
2. Oh boo hoo, people insult you and your work. Get over it. Simple.
Take Microsoft. Every day, on the internet, in the press. Millions of people absolutely slaughter them. Vista was hated by nearly everyone, so what did Microsoft do? Whinge? No. They took action to please the people who hated them, so they renamed VIsta and released it 3 years later as Windows 7, which is enourmously succesful.
Just get over it, goes back to the point in number 1, so long as you had fun. If I were you I'd be more fastidious about starting college. Seriously, I haven't had one positive rep for TDUPE since December, I am slightly more concerned about a multi-million dollar contract for a Mega Apartment block on my desk, and a little more concerned that I haven't had sex for 2 weeks when I know my 15 year old niece is getting plenty.
If your modding is just a hobby, treat it as such and just get your priorities straight. If you really think the attitude in the mod shop is so bad, stop modding. Or only release mods that you personally want in the game and just don't worry about credit or feeling important or if someone has stolen your mod cause where you are at your life at the moment it really isn't important. If you want to do it as a career, that's somewhat different but you should be using the feedback, negative and positive to build your career.
And trust me, if people hold a no bull***** approach to your work, it helps in later life. Using my life as an example, there is a big difference between someone telling me TDUPE is absolute crap that causes the game to crash and someone at Cessna telling me that a bug in my autopilot program causes the plane to crash. Or someone at MICROS, Toyota or Garmin telling me how freaking awesome my software is.
3. People are idiots. All of them. Let them say what they want and get over it. You don't even know them and will never see them in real life. Besides, flamewars are somewhat entertaining to watch.
4. People please stop saying the word fap. I looked it up the other day...
Can't quite remember what my point was, but it was a good one.