The stig! = Lots of unlikely people

[CarMadMike]

Last week, a service man came forward to say that he came across the Stig's white suit and helmet while doing some work at a home in the UK, and then an art gallery blabbed that a certain well-known racecar driver came into their gallery to commission some Stig artwork. Between the two of them they figured it was time to let the world know what they did, so they revealed Stiggy's true identity. Well, they got it all wrong according to the blokes at Top Gear.

 

In response to all of the speculation that has been reported as fact (by this outlet among others), the show wants to set the record straight. That's why the BBC outlet has just issued a statement identifying their white-clad road warrior. The Stig has been revealed to be...wait for it....Graham Hill. Yes, the very same Graham Hill who won the GP World Drivers Championship in 1962 and 1968 and was reported to have died in a tragic plane crash back in 1975. Who would have guessed? Ironically, his son and fellow Formula One World Champion Damon Hill was one of the people rumored to have donned the white driving suit and helmet. What a clever ruse.

 

This comes as quite a shock to everyone who has followed the story. After all, Graham would be about 80 years old now. Some say his mustache wax was the clue that made the team come forward with the news. Some say he has been growing frustrated getting out of so many awkward supercar doors. All we know is, you can follow the link to hear the whole exciting story of how this two-time champion worked with the BBC to fake his own death, some 20 years before the BBC even dreamed up the need for a Stig on a show they hadn't even created yet. Fascinating.

 

Yes, THE Graham hill, Wow, Seriously, No wonder no one guessed it!

[T1M]

Wow! Never would have guessed that! Hmm, well, all we know is, he's called Graham Hill... not the stig :D

 

 

Yeah ok, I posted this after CMM told me on MSN xD

 

________

Burger King Gift Cards

[CarMadMike]

Top Gear’s top secret racing driver is in fact the chairman of crisis-hit Royal Bank of Scotland, The Mole may have overheard someone say at some point yesterday.

 

Angry shareholders are now said to be demanding an immediate enquiry into the conduct of RBS boss Sir Tom McKillop, saying his moonlighting work as the man in the white mask might have been responsible for the bank’s record losses.

 

“No wonder we’re £80 trillion in debt,” stormed an angry shareholder, apparently.

 

“If you spend every Wednesday on the limit at the Top Gear track in a Gumpert Apollo, you’re going to drop the ball with your day job sooner or later.”

 

Sir Tom’s secret identity was revealed when he moved all important board meetings from their usual time of Wednesday morning to Thursday morning. It’s now believed he did this to free up time to set laps down at the TG track, as Wednesday is the day they record the show.

 

“He came up with some convoluted story about shifting the time to suit the Asian markets, but now we know that’s all bollocks,” a spokesperson allegedly said.

 

Looks like Top Gear’s mystery test driver has been unmasked again, and it turns out the man in the white suit is not immortal or superhuman, but is in fact President Barack Obama.

 

For years now literally nobody who watches the hit TV show has wanted to know the identity of its secret wheelman, but the cat is out of the bag after a White House cleaner found Obama stuffing the famous white suit into a desk drawer at the Oval office. Possibly.

 

When grilled further by the cleaner, Obama apparently broke down and confessed that it was he who’d piloted monster £200,000 plus, 200mph-plus hypercars such as the Bugatti Veyron and the Ferrari Enzo round the Top Gear track. Or so The Mole hears.

 

He apparently added that when the show was off air he’d decided to use the spare time to run for President in the United States of America: “I didn’t expect to win, it was just something to do until the Autumn series,” Obama told the gobsmacked cleaner, probably.

 

He also revealed that he now feared losing his job as the man in the white suit. “I expect being President of the United States of America is pretty full on, but I’d hate to miss the next series because we’ll probably be putting that new Ferrari round the track,” someone reckons he said once.

 

haha, Typical Topgear humour, i wonder who they will say is the stig today.

 

[Guest RB26DETT]

nice one @ the barrack joke. :p

 

me thinks simon cowell is the stig.

[Who]

I reckon it's Will Young!

 

it would explain why him and JC want to get married :p

[iBilo]

I am the Stig.

[StrickenHAWK?]

no, you are austin powers.

 

 

jeez, some people these days.

[iBilo]

I'm Austin Powers but I'm the Stig in disguise.

 

Figured much? A bit like Spiderman?

[StrickenHAWK?]

Z0MG we have the stig HERE!

 

treat him like you would treat bullion.

[Immelmann]

I would like to smelt bullion...

[KoenigseggBG]

I actually know the Stig, he gave me a ride in his Opel Astra 1.6 Twinport yesterday...:cheeky: