Funny Call Centre Recordings

[DriftNismo]

I was just looking through my sent box on Yahoo from a few years ago and found this, i laughed so hard at the last one.

 

The last one is great.

 

Actual call centre conversations!!!!!

Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?"

Operator: "Where did you get that number from, Madam?"

Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre".

Operator: " Madam, they are our opening hours".

 

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Samsung Electronics

Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"

Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about".

Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"

Operator: "I think you mean the telephone point on the wall".

 

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RAC Motoring Services

Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia?"

Operator: Doesn't the product give you a clue?

 

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Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France):

"If I register my car in France, do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?"

 

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Directory Enquiries

Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please".

Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?"

Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off".

 

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Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.

Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"

Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland".

 

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On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator: "I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on".

 

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Tech Support:

"I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop".

Customer: "OK".

Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?".

Customer: "No".

Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"

Customer: "No".

Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?".

Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'".

 

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Tech Support: "OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"

Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"

 

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Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?".

 

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There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired.

This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause".

 

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee, (Now I know why they record these conversations!):

 

Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; May I help you?"

Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

Operator: "What sort of trouble??"

Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."

Operator: "Went away?"

Caller: "They disappeared."

Operator: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

Caller: "Nothing."

Operator: "Nothing??"

Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"

Caller: "How do I tell?"

Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"

Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"

Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"

Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"

Caller: "What's a monitor?"

Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"

Caller: "I don't know."

Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"

Caller: "Yes, I think so."

Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall"

Caller: "Yes, it is."

Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"

Caller: "No."

Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

Caller: "Okay, here it is."

Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."

Caller: "I can't reach."

Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"

Caller: "No."

Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??"

Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."

Operator: "Dark??"

Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window "

Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."

Caller: "I can't."

Operator: "No? Why not??"

Caller: "Because there's a power failure."

Operator: "A power.............. A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??"

Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought

it from."

Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"

Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."

Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"

Operator: "Tell them you're too f*%king stupid to own a computer".

[hesonly5]

LOL! That last one was brilliant xD

 

I remember hearing about some woman who dialled 999 because she couldn't find Homebase and needed directions, lol.

[macd79]

ROFL at that last one

[Camel]

LOL they were funny but i had some better ones from when i was on my work experience last year, I just wish that i wrote some of them down

[Rtoups]

Here are some funny 999 calls (with the Homebase one in it, whatever Homebase is).

 

Funny 911 (American equivalent of 999)Some redneck got attacked by a deer, and a dog:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1BQW-0dpNrA

 

This one is funny. 4 year old needs help with math:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PrYdTLwtiss

 

This guy is in distress because he can't get his mouse to work"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ey1qBA77niE

[Camel]

how do these people survive?

[Aquila DK]

how do these people survive?

Sometimes you really have to wonder that.. GOD, it's just common sense most of it! O.o

[DriftNismo]

Lmao, that 4 year old girl was funny. I don't remember doing stuff like 16 - 8 when i was 4 though and we're a year ahead of the US so i don't know why she was doing it. And the mouse one is just stupid, i can't believe how stupid that guy is lmao. And the deer one, "Who gets the deer, me or the dog?!" lmao. Oh, and Homebase is like Home Depot in the UK.

[ShadowGT]

XD the redneck was funny.

[Pherelas]

I thought the old women at the end of the first was brilliant but the americans are a lot more laid back about it arn't they.

 

The last of the original first post ones was brilliant aswell.

[Rtoups]

I guess so. It was probably in some random town where there never are emergencies. I live in Los Angeles, and I know people who have been put on hold when calling 911.

[HavockJoker]

OMG I was laughing so hard my soda came out of my nose. LMAO

[HavockJoker]

this is old but still hilarious

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7TXjtbl2y3U

[Pherelas]

this is old but still hilarious

 

Never seen that before lol, brilliant.