Things you always didn't need to know about TDU, but have learned anyway
Community Centre doesn't pay, even if you win a Challenge, because they can
Pilot of the Seaplane is either drunk or getting there
Sexy girl in grey coat is checking you out at the Airport
Real Estate Agent looks for more...
Tuning a Car can make it slower
Best Deals are at the second hand shop. Tuning kits and 0 KM ! for a lower price
There are more Pirates in TDU than in Somalia
All folks have left the streets, to watch the race on TV
All cars are driven by drunk drivers, looking for some Cherry at the Casino
Everybody complains about cheaters, but the biggest cheat is the Casino
The Cosmetic Girl knives you up, even if you just get a tan
Call Girls Wash your Car, but can't be invited home
The Wilder brothers are not related to Van Wilder
If you jump over a car, you FRIM 350$
Some n00bs can do 8.3 KM in 2.0 sec.
Planes on Ibiza take off from the Taxilane
All cars are controlled by the A.S.S. (Artificial Stupidity System)
Casino is rigged by Atari Mob
When you win, you lose, when you lose, you win.
The guy from the second hand shop has a side deal as a Bartender
You need a license to race but a n00b license to drive a Veyron
If you drive trough a wall you end up in a Cave
There is Eden Island, but no Eden "E'
All in-game 'Faster' Suits are gay
There are only Party People on both Islands
Only Girls Cheat
This game stimulates safe driving
Tess likes to be on Top
The FRIM Cave gives easy money
There is a Patch for everything, even wounded games...
Former Waitresses from Lisa's have found a new Job at the Carwash
Where is Lisa?
When you drive to the Casino, your Avatar always hits a tree.
The brother of the Bartender runs a Classic Racing School
When you drive a fast lap in the VIP you get 50.000$
Propellors of the Seaplane run backwards
Asian Chicks have expensive rides
The CRC and Casino are run by the same Mobster
A Blond Chick gives you 65.000$ to bring her Pagani Zonda Fangio to the dealer, 4.9 KM further
Some Avatars move, like they just had a Visitation at the Airport
In TDU2 an Aston V12 sounds like somebody who had Beans and Onions for Dinner
Some People win, when playing both sides
Some Clubs think ramming is a fair game.
The same Clubs have only Cavemen as members
A Bugatti Veyron is the weapon of choice for n00b losers
Police is allowed to play in the Casino during work ours.
The Island is full of Adrenaline Junkies, looking for a Quick Fix
You can build a House on a Waterfall
You can tune a 2CV to level 4, it does a shockwhopping 106 km/h
The Merc SLS sounds cool, but the 722 Stirling sounds like Shampoo
You can win a race by Dodging Veyrons
If you hit a tree while doing a cheating girlfriend mission, you get proof Michael Jackson is still alive.
A simple game can make you dislike a Car that you did admire before (Veyron).
Some facial expressions of the Avatars makes you wonder if they had Chicken Vindaloo for Lunch.
Most rammers are n00b losers.
The Bartender can make 20 different Cocktails with just 2 bottles.
Mercedes dealers on Ibiza place their Cars backwards, because they don't really want you to test their cars.
If you know where to look, you can always find lost Party Girls in the Woods, tired of walking home.
TDU Casino makes Madoff look like a Choir Boy.
Red Headed guys on Hawaii get Cheated on all the time.
Don't you want me? Bangbangbangbangbangbangbangbang.....
There is a 100 year Old Tree near the Chinese Temple
The Hairdresser smells bad, because he never changes clothes
The same Hairdresser thinks you need a Haircut, even if you just went there
The Real Estate Agent has a Black Belt in Karate
All new Roads on Ohau lead no nowhere except to... more Roads
Casino is flooded with 90 year Old Cougars in Miniskirts
There is no safe Bet in Roulette
You can Tune the Untunable at the Second Hand Shop
You can Kiss my Pink Mustang
The Sound of a Scuderia is a serious Buzzkill
Adam lives on Eden Island
Adam plays TDU on an Apple
The Security guy at the entrance gives you the 'eye', when you get past him...
I jumped over a House and drove off a Cliff, but his Grandma drives better. He is probably right
Sit down, don't worry (You will only lose all your money on a winning bet)
The Windmills on Ibiza turn backwards, generating negative energy that makes cars float in mid air
A Chinese Monk managed to do a VIP lap in the Aileron in 15 sec. Must be a Kung Fu Master.
Some Youngsters need to wash their mouth
CRC is up and down, up and down like boobs in a Gym class
Eden Servers are located in Egypt, but the backups are safe in Libya
TDU2 is so well connected, that even the Atari Mob shivers from fear
The secret about releasing a Patch is to make sure you get everyones attention
A Patch and a Promise are no Substitute for the Good Old TDU vibes
Pulling a Slot Machine Lever for Hours like a Zombie will get you a new Ride
Will the Patch be released soon? Yes, of Courrse
Will the Roulette be re-opened? Yes, of Courrse
Will the CRC be open for Challenges? Yes, of Courrse
Will the Casino Server be Stable? Yes, of Courrse
Will the Devs fix this Game? One Moment Pleaze...
Will TDU2 end up in the Bargain Bins, before the Patch? Yes, of Courrse....
Mwooahaaa, you're really Mad
Ps. These have been posted before on another TDU forum, have fun.