Stripper Stories

[Samurai Lincoln]

I was recently exposed to a rather long, unoriginal stream of obscenities littered with insults towards my mother and my race after a player described himself as a gangsta, a playa, explained of his upcoming signing of a record label, his Marijuana-smoking habit, prowess with women, and many other random self-titles.

A sort of ghetto stereotype on wheels...

This was all after a 5-minute session of self-appreciation by the aforementioned person.

You may ask yourself "Greezy, what did you do to make him so mad?"

I said "Yeah right."

I then proceeded to push his S7 into the water with my Murcielago Roadster and drive away, all while he was attempting to crash my car into poles, houses, etc., and continuing to scream random obscenities.

I realize I could have easily kept my mouth shut and let him go on forever, but I do enjoy shutting up people who can not figure out how to shut themselves up. A favor, of sorts.

End.

[gingervette]

Sounds like the typical S7 driver...

 

I lol at the Strippers

[Baltoman]

buuahahahaha that reminds me of an episode of Arby n' The Chief when Master Chief was playing GTA IV and suddenly came this "gangsta" friend of his. Master chief was playing with his other friends too on the 360...

 

Master Chief: Waz up dude?

 

Gangsta: Hello u *swears*

 

Frriend #1: oh God, another one of these idiots

, Hey isn't it your bedtime already? Your parents are gonna get mad

 

Gangsta: Parent's, I don't have parents, I was born in the streets!

 

Gangsta's Dad: Hey, I already said for you to get off that game and go to sleep

 

Gangsta: Awwww, that is so unfair... just five more minutes

 

Gangsta's Dad: ok five more minutes then it's over...

 

Gangsta: Ok you bunch of *swears* I'm back!

 

Friend #1 and 2 = hahahahahahhahaha

 

Gangsta: what are you guys laughing about *swears alot*

 

Gangsta's Dad: Hey, what were you saying? Didn't I tell you to turn off that game?

 

Master Chief: Tell your dad to stop being an arsehole

 

Gangsta: Dad, why do you have to be an arehole?

 

Gangsta's Dad: WHAT? WHAT DID YOU SAY *spanks kid*

 

Gangsta: buuuaaaa, I want mom,*screams* STOP IT I WANT MOMMY

 

Friends #1 and 2: hahahahahhAHAhaHAhAHhaHAHaahHAhaHah WHAT A LOSER

 

funny episode lol

[gingervette]

yes but that's GTA and not TDU...

[Baltoman]

I never said it was TDU did I? I was saying that the story remind me of that one...

[gingervette]

Right, exactly the point. This thread is about TDU, not GTA.

 

There is no Waikiki Strip on GTA so if you want to post a funny story about something you heard on GTA or TV or where ever you heard it, you should create another thread for doing so...

[Eudemon]

He was referencing a joke comic strip that reminded him of what Greezy experienced, that was all.

[gingervette]

oh...

 

Well I still don't get it but alrighty then :)

[Samurai Lincoln]

lol :D

[gingervette]

Here's an interesting one:

 

Some guy at the Strip was telling me that he could beat anyone in the game in a Saleen S7. Being told this I was quite eager to ask why. And what do you think he told me? Not nitrous, not using different gears, no even special drafting skills. Nope, apparently, he downloaded a special engine off of the internet and installed it into his Saleen. He also said that this was something only exclusive to his club. Luckily for me, some of his other club members came into the server. But strangly, when I asked him, he could not tell me a 0-60 time, a top speed, a horsepower rating, or anything about his beloved engine. And when I asked his other club members if they knew how to do the same thing, they simpoly replied by saying that they don't know how to do it, but his car is faster so he must be doing it.

 

I found it strange, however, that I could keep up with his car exremely well by only using gears 3, 5, and 6. But he already told me that wasn't what he was doing so his engine story must be true.

 

So, I challenged him to a race that involved turns and he told me something about me being scared to drag race and then said something about my mother. So, I left.

 

 

 

 

 

 

It never gets old lol :)

[zo6dude]

Lol Kids these days... lol

[TimBud]

LOL, its often not just the TDU kiddies though. :eek:

[gingervette]

Ahh here we go, I hadn't heard one of these in a while but:

 

There is a guy on TDU who actually has a Hummer H3 and can drive around in it. Now, my first response was the sensible one to ask if he also owns the PC version in addition to his 360 version. Since, this kind of thing can actually happen on the PC version. But no, he specifically said is was the 360 version. I told him that the vehicle he was driving didn't look like any Humer H3 I had ever seen. But he straightened that one out for me. He told me that on my screen, the car he is driving is probably showing up as a Shelby Daytona coupe. Strangly enough it was, so he must be telling the truth, right? ;)

[Jacob]

Werid.... I think he might be... Wait a minute what am i saying its LIES I TELL U LIES!!!

 

EDIT: he wasnt actually driving a H3 on his screen either he was probally aculaly drive the daytona

[The Queen]

Haha. That lot of nonsense about the guy with the Saleen S7. People just don't know when to give up! :D

[Jacob]

Yeah I no, and Spotter in a werid way That lemur thing is pretty cute lmao

[The Queen]

Haha yeah thank god someone has noticed it. :p

 

It's called a Red Ruffed Lemur and originates from Madagascar which is one place I would love to visit. :cool:

[gingervette]

I have come up with a piece of advice for those who "Strip" or enjoy arguing frequently...

 

My advice is this:

"You know you have lost an argument when the only rebutle you can come up with involves someone else's mother."

 

There we go...:)

[t.]

Haha yeah thank god someone has noticed it. :p

 

I noticed it (hard not to) but didn't comment incase it was yours and Stingers illicit love child. XD

[zo6dude]

I noticed aswell and was wondering why didn't you enter it in the self portrait PHOTW? LOL JK

[Jacob]

It looks like something u would want to cuddle for hours on end (well for me anyway)......But im kinda werid that way.

[Nismo_dude]

Here is one:

 

Me and a few of my friends got our 288 GTOs and made a roadblock across the beggining of the strip so they couldn't go by. It ticked them off really badly and they started to yell and ram us(they were all is S7s). I argued back and then one, as always, started talking about my mother. What a group of noobs.

[Baltoman]

They must not have mothers! seriously!

[Jacob]

Did u just block off one end cuz its easy to just tele to the other end and drive down lmao

[gingervette]

Yet another:

 

At the strip, and this kid (who admits his age is 9 later on) decided to announce his arrival in the server by screaming racial comments, various curse words and something about another guy's mother. He's in a Saleen S7 (big surprise) and instant challenges me. Me being in my LM, I decline on the small chance that he may get to pick the race and it would, I am guessing, be a straight line. Anyhow, after his screaming subsides, he leaves the server. No one is talking so I find a different one as well. Sure enough, I stumble upon the one that he has already entered. This time though, he wasn't speaking english. According to him, he was now polish, but obviously forgot that i was in the server with him not 5 minutes ago in which he was speaking perfect english. But to make it even funnier, most of the wordswe was saying were spanish and french, and in fact, not one of them was polish in the least. No one else really paid attention to it but i was getting quite that laugh out if it. Even funnier than that, I waited til a few minutes past and asked him what language he was speaking. His response was, "Dude, I already told you, I am speaking polish." This respone seemed, to my ears, to be in perfect english. So I meerly stated my opinion on his maturity, and then he said something about nitrous and my mother. So I left lol